


Old Promises to Keep

by Zetal (Rodinia)



Series: SPN Hiatus Writing Challenge 2016 [10]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Balthazar Too, Childhood Marriage Contract, Dean is a Little Shit, M/M, Pretend Wedding, SPN Hiatus Writing Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-12
Updated: 2016-08-12
Packaged: 2018-08-08 05:56:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7745803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rodinia/pseuds/Zetal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Cas have been best friends since they were five years old, and their families are basically one big family now.  Easter with their family leads down memory lane, meaning they have to endure teasing about stupid crap they did as kids.  Like when they agreed to marry each other if they weren't married by thirty.</p><p>Then Dean points out that Sam's thirtieth birthday is less than a month away, and Cas is already there.  And neither is married.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Old Promises to Keep

**Author's Note:**

> Written for fun based on [this](http://pale-silver-comb.tumblr.com/post/141339331837/i-just-have-such-a-profound-need-for-best-friend) post. Adapted for the SPN Hiatus Writing Challenge Week 11: "Shut up, that was one time!" (I've had this written for a while but it kind of exploded into a 'verse on me, mostly writing about what led up to this. The line was pretty much in there already, I just had to reword it slightly.)

It was nice, having the whole family together. That didn’t happen nearly often enough, in Sam's opinion. It was only to be expected, with so many of them not living in Sioux Falls anymore. Anna and her family were living out in South Carolina, Zachariah was running the family business’s offices in California, Uriel was finishing seminary in Indiana, and Balthazar was in Chicago. It wasn’t like new family hadn’t moved in - Benny, some of Cas’s cousins. It was still good to see everyone. Even John had made it.

Gabriel was the one who dug out the old videotapes - and even older technology - and suggested that the middle generation spend Easter going through them and transferring them to a digital format. The grandparents would watch the kids, while the adults talked and relived their own childhoods. There were a lot of token protests, but Sam wasn’t the only one who thought it would actually be a lot of fun, even if there was humiliation too.

Balthazar finally got the next tape loaded up and playing. “Oh my god,” Pamela said as it came on. There were flowers everywhere and candles lit up and Zachariah, Cas, and Balthazar standing at one end of a long aisle. “Is that a wedding?”

Anna laughed. “Yeah, this is from when Uncle Gabe finally married Aunt Kali. Rachel was the flower girl in the wedding and she wanted to practice, so we got together and did a pretend wedding.”

"Zachariah’s the priest,” Rachel added. “Uriel wanted to do it, even then we all kinda knew he’d end up following Uncle Raphael’s footsteps, but it just didn’t seem right. He was, like, three. Zachariah and Dean were oldest, and Dean as a priest was just…”

Charlie snickered as she looked over from where she was managing the computer processing. “Yeah, that wouldn’t have worked at all. Besides, didn’t you want him as the groom?”

Dean laughed. “That’s what I figured was gonna happen, but then Anna told us that she was thirteen, too old to play make-believe like a little girl, so she’d be the wedding director and photographer. Bossing us around and working the camera didn’t require her to make believe anything. So Cas got it, and Balthazar’s the best man.”

“So, if Anna was out and Rachel was flower girl…” Jane said. “Jo? Were you there?”

“No,” Jo said as she dissolved into giggles. “Mom and I were still living in Nebraska at that point. Hell, Dad was still alive. I heard all about it when we came up for Christmas, though.”

“And I was out with Aunt Kali to get my dress tailored,” Haeley added. “I was a bridesmaid.”

The music started up, courtesy of cousin Thaddeus, and Sam buried his face in his hands before he could see his big entrance. He heard the laughter, though, as everyone realized what was happening. Cas reached out and put an arm around Sam, but he was laughing, too.

As the wedding progressed, Sam managed to pick his head up and watch with everyone else. It was cute, he had to admit. Of course, that just made it harder to watch as Cas promised to love him forever.

“Awwww,” Olivette cooed as Sam started to return the promise. “You know, for kids… they’ve kind of kept those vows, haven’t they? Here they are, over twenty years later, and they’re still loving each other the way they did then.”

“You know the best part?” Dean said, face lighting up as something occurred to him. Sam wasn’t sure he wanted to know what Dean was thinking, and he was proved right when Dean explained. “Best part is we should be seeing this for real in a couple months.” Sam had no idea what prompted that, because it would never happen for real. No matter how much Sam wished it could.

Cas went very still, except for pulling his arm back from around Sam to rest in his lap. “What are you talking about?”

“When you guys were ten,” Dean said. Both Sam and Cas stared at him blankly. “Come on, you don’t remember?”

“No,” Sam said, forcing himself to meet his brother’s eyes. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Dean hopped up and took off, calling back over his shoulder, “Be right back!”

“Best part - Dean looks amazing in that dress!” Jo shouted after him.

“Course I do!” Dean shouted back.

Sam took a couple of deep breaths. “Cas? You got any idea what Dean’s talking about?” he asked almost under his breath. “I mean, I know he’s just messing with us, but…”

“I have no idea,” Cas said equally quietly. “But Balthazar is snickering, so apparently he’s in on whatever joke Dean is playing. I hate it when our brothers gang up on us.”

“You love us,” Balthazar said. “And of course I remember this. I call being best man, by the way. I can’t pull off a maid of honor dress nearly as well as Dean and his pretty Disney eyes.”

Rachel giggled. “I’m too old to be flower girl, but with Krissy and Adina and Hester, you’re not lacking for choices.”

“Uriel can even be your priest this time, if you’re willing to wait a month. It can be his first action as an ordained priest,” Zachariah said.

“You know I can’t sanctify such a thing,” Uriel said. “Even if I were inclined to, the Church would never allow it.”

“Oh, stuff it,” Jo snapped. “Sam and Cas wouldn’t want a horrible human being like you in charge anyway.”

Dean came back, holding a folded piece of notebook paper in his hand. “First off - Balthazar, bite me.”

“Pamela would probably approve, but I think Lisa might object,” Balthazar said with a wink.

Lisa stuck her tongue out at Balthazar, and Dean just smirked. “Okay. We all knew how some of us would turn out - Uriel to the priesthood, Zach into the family business. And Sam was headed for law. We’ve known that since he could talk. I present Exhibit A.”

The memory came back to Sam then. “Messing with us,” he whispered to Cas. To Dean, he added, “I cannot believe you still have that. Why do you still have that?”

“Lots of kids make marriage pacts, either to marry or never to. Rachel and I promised each other it was never happening. The age varies, of course. Twenty-five, thirty, forty… but that wasn’t good enough for Sammy,” Dean said, ignoring Sam’s question. “Sammy wrote up an official contract, where they promised to marry each other if they weren’t married by thirty, and not only did he and Cas both sign it, he got me and Balthazar to sign as witnesses and Bobby to ‘notarize’ it.” He shot Sam a shit-eating grin. “After you went to all that trouble, of course I had to keep it! After all, you might forget. And here you are, less than a month away from your thirtieth birthday, you and Cas are both unmarried…”

“Hah!” Pamela said. “Oh my god, that is seriously adorable, you two.”

“Not like we aren’t expecting it anyway,” Anna said. “You two already act like you’re married. You’ve been living together since you went off to college, except for one year.”

“Easier to pay back student loans if we share the rent,” Sam said. “Same reason I lived with Bobby that one year.”

“Which is why you changed jobs twice to follow Cas?” Tessa smirked.

“And when you came back home, you bought a house together,” Jake added. “Both names on the mortgage and everything instead of Sam owns the house and Cas pays the equivalent of half the mortgage and stuff as rent. Or other way around.”

“Come on, it’s not like that,” Sam said.

Balthazar raised an eyebrow at them. “Who got the master bedroom?”

“Sam.” “Cas.” The two looked at each other, but everyone was already laughing. Too late to fix it. “So what?” Cas snapped. “As soon as one of us finds a new girl, we’ll change that.”

“Cas, you two are adorable together,” Pamela said. “I haven’t had to call Sam Grumpy once since you two moved back home.”

Cas looked startled. “It’s Sam. Why would you call him Grumpy before?”

Cole shrugged. “When Sam was here and you were still in med school, he was pretty much always in a bad mood. That being the year Pamela and Balthazar got married, Pamela thought Sam was always like that.”

“Kinda like I used to think Sam was a whiny jerk, when I first met him,” Benny said. “Wasn’t the best of circumstances then either.”

“But Sam perked up whenever you were able to come home for a weekend,” Rachel added.

“Wonder what was going on with him that year…” Lee said.

“I was pretty much in a perpetual bad mood Dean’s first year in the marines, and then again freshman year of college. Are you gonna say I should marry Dean?” Sam asked incredulously.

“Sammy, I’ve told you a million times, you’re an awesome guy but you’re not my type,” Dean said with a wink. “Besides, I couldn’t bring myself to stand in the way of you and your true love.”

“And no offense, but you two have crap taste in women, so if you wanted to just forget about us all together, we’d get that,” Anna said. “Only ex between the two of you I’ve forgiven for breaking your hearts is Jess.”

“Anna!” Cas snapped.

Anna blinked. “What? It’s true, you two have some terrible ex-girlfriends between you!”

“Think he might be pointing out my wife is sitting right here,” Benny said, putting an arm around Hannah.

Hannah snuggled up against him. “No, it’s fair. I was young and I made some bad decisions back then.” She giggled a little. “Although I have to say, Cas… part of the reason I gave you the ‘them or me’ ultimatum was that I felt threatened by Sam.”

“You…” Cas looked completely bewildered. “Why? We’re close, but Benny and Dean are close, too.”

“Well, for one, I was a teenager, not a thirty-year-old successful businesswoman and mother,” Hannah said, and Sam couldn’t help the chuckle. There was a huge difference there, all right. “Benny and Dean are close, yeah. Them and Cole and Jake went through some shit together, and Benny and Dean in particular came back inseparable brothers. But it’s different with the two of you. You and Sam are… you’re beyond brothers. Maybe the way Sam defines it, what with him and Dean being so close to begin with, but there’s just something… more there.”

“I don’t see why you don’t just admit it, it’s not like we don’t know anyway,” Rachel said. “Zachariah and Uriel are the only ones who don’t find it adorable.”

“You…” Cas sputtered. “You don’t know anything! There’s nothing to know!” Sam flinched. He knew that there was nothing to know, but to hear Cas say it still hurt.

“You’re wrong, dear sister,” Zachariah said. “I do find them adorable. It certainly explains why our Castiel got so far off the rails.”

Cas rolled his eyes. “Rails are boring. Dad approves of my life plan.”

“If it were my fault, he’d have done law school with me,” Sam said. It was true - he’d tried, once, when they were seniors in high school and Cas was still deciding what he wanted to do. “Michael and Gabriel both think it was the right choice for him, no one cares what Lucifer thinks, and Raphael only disapproves because of me.”

“And here you are white knighting for him,” Pamela teased.

Anna smiled gently, and there was no hint of teasing from her as she said, “Years now, we’ve been waiting for the two of you to just come out and say it. You know the only thing that’ll change is that you won’t have to protest. Hell, even if you really aren’t actually together the way we mean… you kind of are. Have been since high school.”

"I don't need this." Cas stood up and stormed out of the room. They heard his car starting outside.

Dean tossed Sam the keys to the Impala. "I'll come get it if you'll text me where you catch up to him. Go."

 

Sam caught up with Cas at the bar. He was not surprised to see Cas with a couple of empty glasses, although he was a little alarmed to see the way he was slumping over the table. “Hey, Cas. You okay?”

“No.” Cas drained his current glass and waved to the bartender for another. “Our brothers suck.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “They went a little far teasing us today, yeah. Your sisters and cousins, too. But come on, most of them are good people and good brothers and sisters and cousins and friends. Dean in particular. Even the worst of them… okay, Zachariah and Uriel suck, I’ll give you those two.”

“No, they suck,” Cas said, taking his new drink. “They all suck. Dean too.”

“Okay, I’m cutting you off. Let’s get you home, Mopey,” Sam said, slapping Cas on the back as he headed off to the bar.

The bartender smiled at him. “I was just about to cut him off myself, he said he’s walking home but even so he’s gotta be able to get there. Glad you came for him, I wish my boyfriend cared half as much as you obviously do.”

“I’m not…” Sam started automatically, then cut himself off. Honestly, he was sick of correcting people and fighting against it when he wished so much that it were true. “Whatever. Look, just let me pay his tab and take him home before he gets any worse.”

“Sure thing, hon,” the bartender said, taking the card Sam gave her and running it. “He obviously loves you a lot. Take care of that one.”

Sam rolled his eyes as he signed and added the tip. Less than he’d originally calculated. He collected Cas and got him out to the car. As he drove home, Cas was quiet and just kept staring out the window. “How much did you have?” Sam asked.

“Not enough,” Cas said.

“Not… what?” Sam hadn’t really been worried before, but now he was. Cas could hold his liquor better than anyone he knew, even though he didn’t really drink much.

“I’m going to remember this evening tomorrow, and I’d really rather not,” Cas said. “Alcohol seemed the best way to make sure of that.”

Sam looked over at Cas. He’d underestimated just how much this was bothering his friend. “Cas, you do know they’re just messing with us, right? No one’s going to hold you to a contract you signed when you were ten, no matter how official I made it.”

“Yes, because clearly, the prospect of becoming your husband is what has me so upset,” Cas said, finally sitting up a little straighter to glare at Sam. “What a terrible fate that would be, marrying a man I love dearly but can never say anything to. Anything but that!”

Sam was very glad to pull into the driveway of their house, because that was the last thing he’d expected. Was it possible that Cas… no, it must be the alcohol. In nearly twenty-five years of friendship, Cas had never shown any interest in him. “What?”

“Or maybe, just maybe, it’s finally gotten to be too much for me, and I can’t deal with the pain without help. I know our families didn’t mean anything by it, but I couldn’t. I can’t.” Cas got out of the car. Sam was right behind him as they went into their house. “I’ll be all right, Sam. I just need to sleep this off.”

“Cas, hang on,” Sam said, reaching out to catch Cas’s arm and stop him. “What’s going on? Why are you hurting, and why didn’t I know about it?”

Cas whirled on him. “You didn’t know about it because I’ve been doing everything in my power to keep you from finding out about it! Don’t you think that if there were anything you could do to help, I’d have talked to you, or at least talked to Dean about it? But no, you knowing about it would only make it worse, because you’d feel guilty about it and it’s not your fault at all. You can’t help being amazing and everything I’ve ever wanted.”

Sam was stunned. He had no idea what to say. Because it sounded like… like what he’d wanted for years but didn’t think he’d ever be able to have was not only a possibility, but a good one. “Cas?”

“Oh hell.” Cas pulled his arm free, only to grab hold of Sam’s shirt with both hands. He pushed Sam backwards into a wall and kissed him. Just as Sam recovered from the surprise enough to get with the program, Cas pulled away. “I’m going to go take a shower. Go to sleep.”

“Cas, wait,” Sam said, but it was too late. Cas disappeared into the bathroom and shut the door. Sam thought about just barging in after him, but decided against it - Cas was drunk, they were both tired and angry at their families, and to be perfectly honest, Sam could use the time to readjust his world view and figure out how to handle this.

When Cas wasn’t back out after half an hour, though, Sam got worried. He knocked at the door. “Cas?” No answer, of course. He tried the knob. Locked. That wasn’t a problem. He and Dean had agreed with Bobby that they wouldn’t hunt, at least until they’d tried to live normal lives first, but on the condition that Bobby teach them the skills they’d need if the monsters didn’t get the memo. That included picking locks, and this one was easy.

Cas was sitting in the tub, asleep, with the shower running. Wonderful. Sam huffed fondly as he shut off the water and hauled his friend up and out of the bathroom. Usually, it was him that Cas had to take care of after a bender, but there’d been a couple times. Sam got Cas dry and dressed in pajama pants and put him in the bed. He texted Dean to call him an asshole and got in bed himself.

 

When Sam woke up in the morning, he was surprised to find Cas already out of bed. Cas had the day off, and Sam figured he’d sleep in to sleep off the hangover. It got worse when he went looking for Cas and couldn’t find him anywhere. And then he found the note.

_Sam,_  
_I’m sorry. I can’t do this anymore. I’ve been lying to you for years now, and my only excuse is that I’ve been lying to myself just as long. Last night, with our family, the lies and denial and rationalization I’d built to protect us came crashing down. I’d say they blew it up, but that’s not exactly fair. They systematically destroyed every defense I’d put in place. I could barely hold on sometimes with them in place, and without them, I don’t see any way to keep going and pretending like everything’s fine. It’s not._  
_I’ll come by while you’re at work today to get my things. I’m sorry I made such an ass of myself last night that I can’t at least do this in person. Sam, I love you. That’s why I have to leave._  
_\- Cas_

Sam’s hand was shaking as he got his phone out. His first call was to work to tell them he wouldn’t be in that day while he dealt with a family emergency. Next call was to Cas. He wasn’t surprised when that one went to voicemail, although he was disappointed. “Cas, I found your note. Please, call me. Talk to me. I’m not going to let you just walk out on me like this.”

Balthazar was the next on the call list. “You’re an asshole. Do you know where Cas is?”

“Lost your boyfriend again already?” Balthazar slurred, acting like he’d just woken up. It was fake, though. Good, Sam had guessed right. “Or is this still, and you’re only now getting around to panic?”

“Screw you, Balthazar. You and Dean pushed him so hard last night that he’s gone this morning. As in not coming back.” Sam hadn’t gone to Stanford for nothing, though. Between finding the note and now, he’d already come up with a plan. And now it was time to get it started. “I can’t go look for him, I’ve gotta get to work. So if you actually have any shred of the honor you’re making a name for yourself with in the business world, help me out here. Don’t let him run too far.”

He hung up without waiting for Balthazar to answer. He had another call to make. “Not even kidding, Dean. Asshole.”

“Sam, it was all in good fun,” Dean protested.

“Yeah, well, your _fun_ means that I may never see my best friend again. I just got done lying to his brother so Cas thinks it’s safe to come move out. You’ll forgive me for my cranky attitude,” Sam said.

To his credit, Dean sounded shocked. “You’re kidding.”

“Nope.” Sam read Dean the note. “I know you didn’t mean to, but this is on you and Anna and Balthazar. Everyone else was just following your lead.”

“We meant the opposite, actually,” Dean said, still sounding abashed. “The three of us… we really thought the two of you were together and just not telling us for some stupid reason. I mean, you and Cas have been in love with each other since high school, and we all know it.”

“Dean, that… you couldn’t have said something fourteen years ago?” Sam said. “Before Meg and Ruby, before Amelia and Naomi, before _Jess_?”

“We figured you knew!” Dean said. “I mean, it’s kinda hard to miss!”

“Not for us!”

“And we did say things!” Dean continued. “Why do you think we kept pushing the two of you together, you moron?”

“Because it was funny!” Sam shouted. “Or should I take you seriously and quit my job to go to clown school?”

“Sammy, what do you want me to say here? I screwed up?” Dean sighed. “Well, I screwed up, and for that, I’m sorry. I let you down. If your plan - and I know you have one - doesn’t work, call me, and I’ll do whatever it takes to clean up my mess and fix this.”

“Thanks, Dean. It’s good to know I can always count on you,” Sam said. “I gotta go, I’ve got some things to set up. I’ll call you when there’s something to report.”

 

Every indication was that Sam wasn’t home. Lights were off, doors were locked, and Sam’s car was safely parked at Rachel’s house. Rachel had agreed that this was stupid and was happy to help Sam out. Sam even held his breath when he heard the key turning in the lock.

He let Cas get most of the way down the hall - past the turnoff Sam was hiding behind, so that he could be between Cas and the door - before stepping out. “Cas.”

Cas jumped and whirled around. “Sam! You’re supposed to be at work! Balthazar said…”

“Yeah, I know. Of course he did, because I lied to him,” Sam said. “You wouldn’t have come today if you thought I’d taken off to track you down or wait for you to come back.”

“No, I wouldn’t, because the whole point was to do this when you weren’t here so I didn’t have to…”

“Which is bullshit, Cas!” Sam exploded. “What have I ever done that has you too scared of me to face me? What is it you think I’m gonna do to you?”

Cas took a step back. “I think you’re going to forgive me, to give me the chance to blame it on the alcohol, to say it’s okay and we can still be friends, to willfully misunderstand everything so we can shove it all under the rug and you can carry the burden of all the lies. Isn’t that your plan?”

Sam shook his head. “Yeah, I’ll admit, if things were different that does sound exactly like what I’d do. And I get it. If it were flipped, if I’d been the one they got to bad enough to blow everything up, I’d rather you hit me.”

Cas nodded. “Exactly. Wait. What do you mean, if things were different?”

Sam huffed a laugh. “Okay, yeah, you were drunk enough to pass out in the shower. But then again, you weren’t drunk enough to forget, so… I don’t know. Maybe you were too drunk to notice, maybe you think your memory’s playing tricks on you, but I was kissing back. I wasn’t going to let it go any further than that until you sobered up, but I was totally into it.”

“Sam, it doesn’t…” Cas cut off and made a frustrated noise. “I’m not leaving because I kissed you. I’m leaving because…”

“You’re in love with me, and you can’t shove it behind a wall of lies and denial and rationalization anymore?” Sam finished. “I read the note, Cas. I made it through three years of law school, I think my reading comprehension’s pretty high.”

“So there you go.” Cas took another step back, toward the bedroom. “And now I will, if you’ll…”

“Why?” Sam interrupted. “Why run? I mean, at this point, what the hell do you have to lose to just ask?”

Cas stopped. “Ask what? What is there to ask at this point?”

Sam shrugged. “Well, if it were me, if I were in your shoes, I’d be asking if by some miracle you felt the same, or might be willing to give me a chance to make you love me.”

“And then you say no, and I don’t even have the dream to hold on to,” Cas said.

“On the other hand, you’d know, you wouldn’t be living with the regret of what if.” Sam grinned. “Or you don’t lose a damn thing, because I say yes.”

“What?”

Time to come clean. Sam hoped this worked. “Cas, I’ve been in love with you half my life. I just didn’t say anything, because…”

“You wanted my love, but you needed my friendship and support,” Cas finished. “And you didn’t want…”

“To ruin what we had,” Sam said, closing the distance between him and his friend. “Yeah. Exactly. You get it.”

“Of course I get it,” Cas said. “I’m the idiot who did ruin everything because…”

“Cas. Did you miss the part where I love you too?” Sam reached out and slapped the back of Cas’s head. “You haven’t ruined anything. Yet.”

“I haven’t?”

“No.”

“Good.” Cas paused, then looked back up at Sam. “Yet?”

Sam shrugged. “Well, if you keep insisting on leaving instead of staying here and letting me love you…” he teased.

Cas looked like he was trying to believe it, but he just couldn’t. “Sam, you… you do get what I mean, don’t you? This isn’t…”

“Really?” Sam interrupted. “Once again, Cas… not stupid. You shoved me into a wall and kissed me. If Dean did that, drunk or not, I’d have punched him. It’s a little hard to misinterpret.”

“And… you’re okay with that? I mean, you’re not…” Cas trailed off, but Sam knew what he meant.

“Not like you’ve ever had a boyfriend either,” Sam pointed out. “I dunno, guys in general don’t really… but you, yeah. We’ll figure it out. I’m not afraid of what people are gonna say. Sioux Falls isn’t exactly Palo Alto, but people here either know us or know our families, and, well, we already know we kinda come across that way to the people who don’t know us. And, apparently, the people we do. And our family.”

Cas laughed, although he still looked worried. “But…”

“Cas. We’ll figure it out.” Sam grinned. “Look, I know I haven’t been to medical school…”

“Shut up! That was one time. Let it go already!” Cas said.

“Not happening, doc,” Sam said. “You know how us lawyers get when we find a winning argument.”

“Oh god.” Cas shook his head, but the grin was insisting on coming out and he looked relaxed for the first time. “I’m still going to be hearing that when I’m sixty, aren’t I.”

“Yep.”

“Shoot me now.”

“No.” Sam pulled Cas into a hug. “I’ll make it worth it, angel. Just stay with me. I know how it all works, and we’ll figure it out as we go, okay? Give this… give me… a chance?”

“Did you just call me angel?” Cas asked.

“Did I?” Sam rewound everything in his head, noting with amusement what Cas had chosen to focus on. “Huh. Should I not?”

“No, it’s okay, I liked it, it kinda made it feel real that it really is okay and you’re willing to do this,” Cas said. “Have to figure out what to call you, though.”

“You start calling me Sammy and I will hit you,” Sam said. Cas had been the first person to switch to Sam, and for nearly a year, the only person who took his preference for the shorter version of his name seriously. He didn’t mind Dean calling him Sammy, but he was the only one now. “Fair warning.”

Cas laughed. “You can try. But noted. Why aren’t you at work?”

“Because my idiot boyfriend freaked out over nothing and tried to run away,” Sam said. “I couldn’t let that happen without at least trying to convince him to stay with me.”

“And that’s really what you told Crowley?” Cas asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Of course not,” Sam said. “I just said there was a family emergency and I’d explain tomorrow. Too many other calls to waste time on Crowley.” He paused and pulled back to look Cas in the eyes. “Did it work?”

“Balthazar will be so disappointed in me, he was looking forward to me moving to Chicago once I could quit my job here and find work there,” Cas said. “I should probably call him and let him know.”

“Yeah, I promised I’d call Dean as soon as there was something to tell him,” Sam said. “I’m sure he’ll be thrilled.”

“Okay. Calling Balthazar, and then… I know I should probably call Anna and the rest of our family, but I need a nap. Which I’m sure comes as a surprise,” Cas said.

Sam laughed. “Yeah, I could use one too. They’ve apparently been waiting fifteen years to hear the news, they can wait another few hours. Assuming Balthazar and Dean don’t tell everyone for us anyway. Mind if I join you after I call Dean?”

“Only if you keep me awake,” Cas said. “I didn’t sleep well last night.”

“How the hell did you survive the overnight shifts in med school?” Sam asked through the chuckles.

“I was younger, stupider, and downing insane amounts of coffee,” Cas said.

Sam leaned forward and gave Cas a gentle kiss. “I’ll let you sleep. I promise.”

“Thanks.” Cas pulled out his phone, but turned back at the bedroom door. “Well, some keeping up is okay. If you want. I don’t have anywhere else to be today, after all.” He disappeared inside.

Sam pulled out his phone. “You’re forgiven, Dean. My plan worked, Cas is here and he’s staying here.”

“And?” Dean asked.

“And we talked and we’re gonna see if there’s anything to this rumor we keep hearing that we’re like a couple that’s been together forever,” Sam admitted. “Don’t think I owe you, the heart attack when I found the note cancels it out.”

“Fair enough,” Dean said. “Hey. I’m happy for you, bro. This has been a long time coming.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Sam said. “Look, Cas and I both had a late night and a bad morning, so we’re taking a nap instead of calling people with the news. You wanna spread it around, go for it.”

“Taking a nap, eh? Dude, I do not need to know details,” Dean said.

“Jerk.”

“Bitch.”

Sam hung up and headed for the bedroom. Cas was off his phone, sitting on the bed with his shirt unbuttoned but not off. He looked up as the door opened. “We’ve been friends for twenty-five years, or close enough. Shared a bed how long now? Why am I feeling weird about getting comfortable without asking you first?”

Sam laughed as he plopped down beside Cas. “Good, it’s not just me that’s having a little trouble making the mental switch. As your friend, I say make yourself comfortable. As your boyfriend… I have no objection at all to you stripping down. I may have been using that as fantasy material since eighth grade.”

“Only fair, I’ve been using you,” Cas admitted. He stood up and turned back to Sam. “I cannot think of a way to say this that isn’t completely horribly awkward, so… do you wanna take my clothes off?”

Sam stood up and pulled Cas into another hug. “Be as awkward as you want, Cas, I’ve seen you at your worst and I know you’re awesome. It’s still just me, we’ve been awkward in front of each other before. I’m a little weirded out too, angel. No reason to be, I can’t imagine you’re going to change your mind now.”

“Nope. Not happening. Now stop talking and get me undressed, Lawboy.”

“Seriously?” Sam asked as he burst into fresh laughter. “My old Stanford email? You know I regretted that after one quarter!”

“I know,” Cas agreed as he laughed along. “I never understood why, though. I think it’s cute. Like a cowboy, only with a college degree and less manure. If you really hate it…”

“No, it’s okay from you, now that you’ve put it that way,” Sam said.

“I’ll find something else to call you in public,” Cas promised.

“Lawboy’s fine,” Sam said. “At least I know you’re not calling me that so you don’t have to remember my name, right?”

Cas’s grin grew, which Sam wouldn’t have believed possible. “You’re still talking too much.”

“Oh. Yeah. Clothes.” Sam let go of Cas and started getting Cas undressed. Cas returned the favor. When both men were down to just their boxers, they looked at each other and both of them cracked up again. “This is so stupid!” Sam said once he could breathe again. “The only thing different now is that it’s not gonna hurt to get in there next to you thinking about everything I can’t have, because I actually can reach over and touch you! Why the hell are we both so nervous about this?”

“Because we’re dorks,” Cas said. “Come on, maybe it’ll get easier in bed.” He sat on the edge and slid under the covers. Sam joined him, and Cas came over to cuddle against him. “Yeah, easier now.”

Sam rolled toward Cas. “It is?”

“It will be if you’ll stop thinking so hard and start touching me,” Cas promised. “Come on, I know you know how to do this part, it’s really not that much different from all those nights where one of us needed the other, except that neither of us is distraught over anything.”

Sam laughed again as he reached out for Cas. Sure enough, once he had his arms around Cas and Cas’s hand in his hair, the nerves fled. It was Cas. This wasn’t some kind of test or audition, and he was in good hands.

**Author's Note:**

> My mom is a doctor. My parents are close to sixty. And my mom is still hearing about the time she informed Dad he hadn't ever been to medical school.
> 
> Comments loved!


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